


Fading

by ScarlettRogers



Category: Marvel
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cancer, Death, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, M/M, Sad Ending, Sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarlettRogers/pseuds/ScarlettRogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve visits his dying spouse In the hospital,it's hard for him to come to terms with the fact he's losing Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It's difficult to watch the love of your life dying,fading away before your very eyes but Steve Rogers now has first hand experience on how heart wrenching an experience it really is.  
His husband Bucky Barnes-Rogers lay on the ghostly White sheets of his hospital room,the mid-length brown hair he was once fiercely protective of has now gone along with the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He had lost a lot of the muscle he used to have and no longer possessed the perfect athletic body he had worked so hard for. The cancer was causing him to fade and it broke Steve's heart a little more every day.  
Steve crept into the room and pulled the chair to the side of the bed before sitting down with a sigh and reaching for Bucky's limp hand  
"Mornin' gorgeous...I didn't get you flowers today because you keep moanin' when I do"he chuckled with watery eyes and brushed a kiss to Bucky's pale knuckles  
"I've been missin' you somethin' fierce babe but I know you just gotta have some time to get better then you'll come back home with me and we'll have that bright future we always dreamed about"he got choked up as he spoke and nuzzled Bucky's hand.  
Steve wouldn't listen to the doctors and nurses who told him that Bucky was terminally ill,Steve was stubborn as hell and he refused to admit defeat and accept that his husband was going to be ravaged and killed by cancer the same way his Ma had. Everyday Steve would come to the hospital and talk to Bucky,talk about their future and about how wonderful it would be when Bucky got better even though Bucky would try and make him realise that the end of the line was approaching fast.  
"Stevie..."Bucky croaked as he opened his dull eyes and looked at his Steve,the light of his life.  
"I'm here Buck...I'm always here darlin'"he whispered and leant up to kiss Bucky's sweaty brow  
"Stevie I....I love you"he whispered as his breathing became laboured  
"I love you too Bucky you know I do"he put his forehead against Bucky's and locked gazes with him "Till the end of the line remember?"  
"Till the end of the line"Bucky coughed harshly "that line's nearly finished baby"he whispered and Steve shook his head  
"No it's not love,you're the toughest guy I know Buck...you're my best guy and I know you can pull through"he all but sobbed as Bucky weakly fisted a hand in Steve's shirt  
"Love...love you Steve"he whispered as the heart monitor began to slow down  
"No baby...Bucky stay with me!"Steve sobbed and held Bucky's face in his trembling hands "I can't do this without you gorgeous,I just can't...I need you Buck!"he whimpered and looked at his beautiful love,the life fading from him more and more by the second.  
"Steve..."Bucky managed to whisper one last time before the heart monitor flatlined and Steven Grant Rogers lost the love of his life,most believe that when Bucky's heart stopped so did Steve's.


	2. Chapter 2

The rain beat against the large group of mourners as they made their way into the funeral for the Bucky's funeral service. The funeral home was adorned with a range of flowers that had he been alive Bucky would have made some dry,humorous comment about how they didn't match his eyes. His coffin stood proudly in the centre and a picture of him just a few years prior, grinning for the camera, was sat beside the coffin to show everyone the real Bucky Barnes and not the person he had been just before his death.  
Steve had gotten dressed in a smart black suit in a daze that morning,praying that this was all some horrific nightmare and it really was not the day his husband would be laid to rest but he knew this was a horror he could not wake up from as he slipped into his good friend Tony Stark's car to make their way to the funeral home.  
"Steve...I know this is gonna be a hard day"Tony murmured softly and patted his friends arm  
"Tony...please just don't...I just...I can't talk about this"he choked out and out his head in his handed  
It pained Tony to see his friend so lost and helpless but he decided against striking U.K. another conversation and just locked gazed with the seemingly endless Tarmac stretched out in front of him.  
Tony pulled his Audi into the funeral home car park and gave Steve a moment to compose himself before he helped him out of the car and they slowly made their way inside.  
The sympathetic looks from all the mourners made Steve feel sick and he hunched his shoulders,trying to deflect their concerned eyes. He slid into the front pew right in front of the picture of Bucky and suddenly he could no longer hold back the tears and they flowed hot and wet down his sun kissed cheeks. His heart hammered in his muscled chest and sobs wracked his large frame as he looked at the image of the love of his life in the way he would have wanted to be remember,content and happy with a smile that put everyone to shame. Murmurs had started amongst the gathered room about the state Steve was in, the words "his Ma" "lost another one" and "poor soul" being uttered rather frequently.  
The civil celebrant quietly entered the room and took his place at the head of the room as he began Bucky's funeral service. The celebrant talked about Bucky's life and his achievements before driving in to how much he meant to so many people,his eyes casting a look to Steve which he hoped conveyed his pity and sympathy for the broken man.  
The service lasted around an hour before it was time for Steve to give his eulogy. he stood on shaky legs and made his way to the stand at the front, casting a mournful look at his husbands coffin before staring straight ahead and taking a deep breath "James Buchanan Barnes was the best guy I ever knew" he started "Bucky was my best friend all throughout childhood and it was when we reached college that we realised our feelings were deeper than firiendship and that we l-loved each other" his voice started to crack and tears welled in his blue eyes "I loved Bucky more than anythin' in this world and when I married him it was the best day of my life...we only got five years of marriage before my beautiful darlin' was burdened with the c-cancer" he sniffed sadly and looked down "Bucky was there for me when my Ma did of cance and havin' to go through that all again with my husband was so hard" he choked on his words "Bucky...he was my best guy and I-I miss him so damn much,I d-don't know how I'm goin' to be able to live without h-him..."he trailed off into sobs and Bucky's younger sister Rebecca got up to help him back into his seat and finished is eulogy for him. Tears were sparkling in her own eyes by the time she finished Steve's words of love and about how much he missed Bucky.  
Tony held Steve and he cried through the last part of the service until Bucky's coffin was carried out to the hearse and Steve was guided into w car to follow the coffin to the cemetery. The whole journey was a blur for him as he trembled in utter devastation knowing that soon Bucky would be laid in his final resting place and Steve would never see him again,never feel his warm touch or see his gorgeous face.  
He was helped out of the car and walked behind as the coffin was carried to the graveside and Steve looked at the headstone. "James Buchanan Barnes. March 20th 1985-July 21st 2015. Beloved Husband,Son,Brother and Friend." The headstone read and at the end in golden italics was the phrase "till the end of the line". The sight of that line made fresh tears glide down Steve's face, Bucky and himself had agreed that on their tombstones they would have "till the end of the line" written at the bottom as it was a sign of their love and that it would never die.  
Bucky was lowered into the ground some time later and slowly the crowd around his grave began to disperse until it was only Steve left in the pouring rain by the grave. "Oh love" he sobbed and fell to his knees, his hands braced against the black tombstone. "Bucky...baby why us?"he cried as lightning cracked in the distance "why didn't we deserve the long,happy marriage we had dreamed of?" He sniffled and scrubbed his eyes on the arm of his suit jacket as his body shook violently. "I will never forget you love...I-I'll never be able to replace you,you're my one and only baby doll and I'll wait here until the end of my line so I can meet you on the other side love,maybe then we can have our happy ending darlin' "he whispered and curled up in the fresh dirt shielding Bucky's coffin from the above world.  
Steve stayed curled up on Bucky's grave as the storm thundered on above him as if the sky itself was crying over the infamous Bucky Barnes passing.


	3. Prequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve get married before their happiness was shattered

"Why are you so nervous?"Tony chuckled as Steve straightened his tie for the fiftieth time "You've been in love with him since you were ten years old and have been engaged for nearly five years,he's not gonna run out on you now"  
Steve groaned "I know but what if I fall or something,he's going to be there looking absolutely amazing and I'm gonna fall flat on my face"he fiddled with his tie again and Tony took his hands away and out them at his sides   
"I will not let you fall,you hear me?"he chuckled and punched Steve's cheek "I bet he is exactly the same way,you both worry far too much,this is he happiest day of your lives bloody enjoy it"he chuckled.  
Steve nodded and smiled as he thought about finally being married to his soulmate.He sent a silent prayer up to his mother to watch over their wedding and to see how happy he was before he and Tony began to walk down the corridor to the room where they would be wed.  
Steve tried to breathe deeply as the doors slowly began to open and tears pricked his eyes before he could stop them. As he caught sight of Bucky standing at the end of the aisle in his simple black suit his heart leapt into his throat. He clutched at Tony's arm so he didn't fall and kept his gaze fixed on the most beautiful man in the worked,his soon to be husband.  
Bucky slowly turned and a slow grin spread across his features as he took in the sight of his nervous fiancé. "Ain't he the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?"he smirked to Natasha who rolled her eyes "keep it in your pants until the wedding night Barnes"she teased and he grinned "oh I can't wait".  
Eventually Steve and Tony made it to the top of the aisle and Tony handed Steve's hand arm to Bucky the pair of lovers grinned at each other through tears.  
"You look incredible"Bucky whispered and squeezed Steve's shaking hands   
"If you think I look good you should look in a damn mirror"he chuckled as the both turned to minister with brilliant smiles on their faces.  
The priest swiftly made it through his part before the men were allowed to exchange their vows.  
"Baby doll you're the best thing that ever happened to me"Bucky started "from the age of eleven I knew you were my one and only and I hoped that one day we'd be standin' here declarin' our love to the whole damn world"he swallowed thickly "I love you with everythin' I am Stevie and I promise I will try and be the husband that you deserve, it's you and me till the end of the line now baby and I wouldn't have it any other way"a tear dripped down his cheek as he finished pouring his undying love for Steve out for all to see.  
Steve sniffed and rubbed his eyes "Where do I even start,Bucky you are the light of my love,you've always been the guy at my back ready to pull me out of a losing battle or to hold me together when I felt everything was falling apart"his breath caught in his throat and he took a breath to compose himself before continuing "there is absolutely no one else I'd rather have by my side for the rest of my life,I love you to the stars and back"he chuckled "till the end of the line sweetheart".   
There was not a dry eye in the whole room after the vows and even the minister seemed to be trying to compose himself.   
The pair quickly exchanged rings before the minister cleared his throat "After that beautiful service I am honoured to announce these two fine gentlemen as Husband and Husband,they may know seal this marriage with a kiss"he chuckled as Bucky grabbed Steve's face with both hands and kissed him deeply.   
"You're mine forever now babydoll"he grinned and Steve wrapped his arms around him   
"I'd have it no other way"


End file.
